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FOI Documents released that show the COALition’s 1901 telecommunications policy

11/04/2013

Alexander Graham Bell with Telephone Invention

In a dazzling show, the COALition Leader Mr Tinny Abbutt and his communications spokesperson Mallcome Turncow esquire switched on a light bulb in the newly completed offices of Ruptured Meowdock where they released their policy for communications in the 20th century.

On turning on the light, Mr Abbutt exclaimed that was not technology wonderful.

Mr Abbutt then announced that the COALition had looked into the plan offered by the government and labelled it a waste.

“The government are intending to install telephone lines and electricity lines to each household, each shack, and each flat. Even installing into buildings where there is no one living there! The COALition do not believe there will be the need for this as the population is so small. Maybe one day, they will have trains that travel at incredible speeds of say 30 miles an hour. You wont need to call anyone when you can travel that fast.”

“But the COALition also see that there is some merit to a communications network and so therefore propose a Telephone line to the public phone technology, or TPPT”

“TPPT will be the technology of the future”, Mr Turncow eschewed. “And our plan will see public phones installed two years earlier then the govt plan.”

Mr Turncow scoffed at the point made by your intrepid reporter. “Sure! We wont be connecting this public phones to electricity for 4 years, but as soon as we do, the phone will be directly active. And do not forget! The phone itself is here two years earlier then the governments plan”.

Mr Abbutt chipped in at this stage with “What does this button do?” On pressing the button the light exploded and Ruptured quickly rushed the media out of the room and away from any further questions.

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A. Ghebranious April 2013

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From → Comedy, Uncategorized

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