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Slippery When Wet

24/11/2011

What a day! I mean really! Wow! as in freak me out WOW! Firstly I was accepted as a beta tester for “Star Wars: The Old Republic”. Really freaking good stuff! But then the day got better.

Harry Jenkins made a bombshell announcement. He was resigning from his role as Speaker of the House of Representatives. You can tell this was a bombshell as so few knew what was going on. The most prominent being Tony Abbott.

Tony Abbott’s political life ebbed away from him. And the man was not even in the same room to hear it. Abbott had not come into parliament that morning. I presume he was busy making a cunning plan.

So there was Tony with the bullet that he had carved out his name on safely in his pocket when it went off and damaged his profile in speedo’s forever.

As I mentioned, Tony was having a little sleep in this morning, so he missed the Speaker make his announcement. But that’s okay as Abbott also managed to avoid speaking on the issue of the MRRT as well. Imagine that. Being so against a policy, but then electing to not actually get up and say why he is against a policy.

Abbott must have then relied on his full Rhode Scholar intelligence to realise the implications of this. He came back with the answer three. Then he realised that the real answer must be NO and then he changed that to YES.

But somewhere in his brain explosion he also realised what this meant re one Peter Slipper and then serving Deputy Speaker. You see, Abbott has a small penis and likes to replace this with bullying. He thinks his tough talk draws in the chicks. He thinks his abuse makes men think him manly. Not so Peter Slipper.

You see the coalition, under Abbott’s guidance, have been heaping abuse on Peter Slipper for over 15 months and prior to that even longer. Abbott had virtually called it open season. The Queensland LNP made threats to Peter Slipper’s seat, and Abbott, who is supposed to protect serving members of his party, let it happen with his tacit approval and even initiation.

The idea being Abbott would look tough and all “man’s man” to all his doting coalition supporters and to the ‘chicks’. Peter Slipper would take it like a man, and Abbott will get a poll boost. Not today.

Today all the hate and vitriol that Abbott had heaped on Slipper came back to bite him in the arse.

If Abbott had managed to be a real leader, he would have ensured that all of those in his party were in good spirits. He would have made sure that not only was everyone on board, that no one was feeling like they had been screwed. Instead, Abbott lead the screwing of Slipper.

So when Harry resigned, it became clear who the ALP intended to nominate. And because Abbott had allowed the hate to grow, Peter Slipper accepted the nomination.

Chris Pyne started the voting farce with nine, count them, nine coalition nominations. Each and everyone turned down. You would think they would have had a plan in place. You think they may have had a word in the ear of a ALP member. Nope. Flying by the seat of his pants and randomly selecting a ALP member from a list in his hand, Pyne eventually ran out of Westminster Traditions. The deal was further sealed without a vote as the coalition failed to have a nomination of their own.

The coalition started this. The first time they ridiculed and went after Peter Slipper was the day this was bound to happen. Abbott’s political style allowed that relationship to fester still. Abbott and Abbott alone allowed his numbers to fall from 74 to 73. And it was Abbott and Abbott alone that allowed the government to increase their vote from 75 to 76.

No doubt the coalition will go all guns onto Peter Slipper. They will call him all sorts of names and make all sort of allegations on his character. No doubt they will also have to answer why knowing all this yet to be revealed ‘stuff’ about Mr Slipper, they elected to pre select him. The Nationals did it for 17 years. Then the Liberals for 19 and then the LNP for 3. Obviously Mr Slipper was such a bastard, he was coalition material.

The other thing that came out today from Abbott’s own lips is recognition. Recognition that he lost the 2010 election and the government will be there till 2013.

His call for election now has suddenly become election meow. WTF?

A. Ghebranious      2011  (All Rights Reserved and all that jazz)

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5 Comments
  1. In an effort, no doubt, to make today seem like it was a total surprise to him, Peter Slipper wore a truly terrible tie.

  2. Jennifer Baratta permalink

    Thanks Ash for the update. Have a great Friday.

  3. Absolutely right, Abbott has nobody but himself to blame for this…. Isn’t it great? 🙂

  4. Sue permalink

    And the press let Abbott, the Liberals, the Nationals and the LNP off the hook. Slipper has been their choice if Slipper is as bad as they say, then they have done a dirtier deal than any one else.
    And as to Slipper’s electorate the voters can say to the party machine and party leaders WTF

  5. jane permalink

    Unfortunately for the Noalition, if they attack Slipper’s reputation, the government no doubt in the form of Albo will be at pains to draw public attention to the fact that despite all these terrible flaws, Slipper was their preferred candidate. Makes their outrage all the more shallow, ridiculous and hypocritical.

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