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Joe Blow


Herman Melville

“There she blows!-there she blows! A hump like a snow-hill! It is Moby Dick!”

— Herman Melville (Moby Dick)

Moby Dick

Joe Hockey appeared on Lateline this week and boy was he mad! Cut snake mad that is.

Joe thought he had it in the bag again this week to. He was sure interest rates would rise but they did not. Tony Jones cleverly used the fact that interests rates did not rise to talk about the coalition ‘Direct Action’ program. Having no room to move, Joe jumped the shark.

For those not so familiar with the origin of shark jumping, well it came from ‘Happy Days’, the TV show.

Ahh. Happy Days. Joe Hockey must have been reminiscing about those right about then when Tony Jones brought up the issue of the Coalition Climate Change policy.

TONY JONES: Let’s look at your policy then. What does your modelling say will be the cost to the budget of the Coalition’s direct action plan.

JOE HOCKEY: Well we’ve indicated that over the first four years, it’ll be $3.2 billion, and that policy’s been out there now for just on 18 months. 

TONY JONES: Not everyone agrees with you though. Greg Combet says that analysis by his department, the Department of Climate Change, shows the direct action policy would cost the average Australian household $720 per year. 

JOE HOCKEY: Well this is the same Department of Climate Change that said there’d be a thousand companies that would pay the carbon tax, and then 24 hours later it’d be 500 companies.

It’s the same Department of Climate Change that has been party to Treasury modelling where they’ve modelled the impact of their own carbon tax at $20 a tonne instead of $23 a tonne.

TONY JONES: But are you saying they’re putting out false figures about your direct action plan?

JOE HOCKEY: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Oh Joe! Oh no! Did Joe just blow?

Let’s take a look at Joe’s allegations here shall we? Joe claims that the Department of Climate Change is falsifying data; a crime of some high import.

He is doing so because, according to Joe, one day they said 1000 big polluters and the next they reduced that number to 500. Really Joe? I thought that was a decision made by the government. They used the data provided, but it was a decision made by them.

The second supplied part of his evidence is the pricing modelling at $20 and the real price being at $23. Joe accused the Department of Climate Change to be working with other government departments.

Joe, Joe, Joe… D’oh! This should be called Joe’s song

You see Joe, Treasury modelled on a several different figures. These were asked for two months ago and were done so because the Multi Party on Climate Change had still not decided which way to go. So yes $20 was modelled, but as was $40 and others.

And then you make another false claim by saying that Treasury and the Department of Climate Change was privy to the final price of $23 when again they did not as this had yet to be finalised

Then you went and really did it Joe. Not happy with these misleading statements you made, you went one step into the great beyond.

TONY JONES: Well, would you be disbanding this department if it’s a department that puts out false figures for political reasons? I mean, you are talking about getting rid of 12,000 civil servants.

JOE HOCKEY: Yeah. Well the Department of Climate Change will be pretty high up the list for very close scrutiny.

TONY JONES: You mean, you’ll be thinking of disbanding it.


No Joe. Not yep. That in and of itself is the reason you and Andrew Robb should immediately resign, but not the reason you have to sack 12,000 employees. You see Joe, I still remember that 11 billion dollar blackhole.

Hockey, Robb deny misleading voters

October 11, 2010

The federal coalition has denied vehemently that it misrepresented the process surrounding the verification of its election costings.

Fairfax media on Monday said documents showed the federal directors of the Liberal and National parties signed a letter to Perth accounting firm WHK Howarth confirming its work for the coalition was primarily “not of an audit nature”.

But that was not the only thing you made up though was it Joe? You and Andrew also claimed the reason that the Treasury found a blackhole of $11 billion was all due to assumptions.

Assumptions huh? Like the fact that your party make grandiose assumptions based on exactly how much carbon can be sequestrated into soil and the Department of Climate Change picked you up on? And you had the gall to call their claim false??

But Tony keeps them coming and you are so stupid and dense, you don’t even see it coming.

TONY JONES: OK. Let’s go to another key part of the Coalition’s direct action plan. What’s your estimate of the cost of creating what Tony Abbott calls a 15,000-strong standing green army?

JOE HOCKEY: Well, it would come into play as we actually forecast – I haven’t got the immediate figure in front of me because it was one of many programs we went to the last election. But what we said was it’d be phased in over a period of time. Now, …

TONY JONES: But building up over a number of years before 2020 to 15,000 – a 15,000-strong standing army.

JOE HOCKEY: There are inputs that matter. For example, if you have a lower level of unemployment, then it is harder to recruit people for the green army. If you have a higher level of unemployment, it’s easier and less expensive. So, there are variables at play, Tony, but …

TONY JONES: But have you got any costings at all? Because when he introduced the plan in January last year …

JOE HOCKEY: Yeah, they were a part of our costings – they were a part of our costings before the last election.


You are still blind. But what do you expect Joe. Remember though big guy, you and you alone brought up the costings thing.

SO are you ready Joe? Here comes Tony…

JOE HOCKEY: Yeah, they were a part of our costings – they were a part of our costings before the last election.


JOE HOCKEY: Our commitment hasn’t changed. And before the last election, the Treasury didn’t dispute that costing.

TONY JONES: OK, is this the costing then? Because in January last year when Tony Abbott introduced the policy, he said the 15,000 people would be recruited at an average cost per place of $50,000 a year for a 15,000-strong conservation corps. He said that would be very expensive.

JOE HOCKEY: Well, I think the policy format has changed since that time. And obviously, when went to the last election outlining the detail, which was considerably less than the figure that you’re alluding to.

TONY JONES: Fifteen thousand multiplied by 50,000 is $750 million a year.

JOE HOCKEY: Yeah, $750 million a year. I can add up and I think that’s where you’re getting to, and that’s not the figure that we took to the last election.

You can add up can you Joe? You stupid fool. You claim that according to Coalition COSTINGS your Climate Plan would be only $3.2 billion over four years. You made it again today. You also make the claim that you can add up.

But $750 million a year multiplied by four years is actually $3 billion on its own. Where is the money to buy the land to plant those trees on? Where is the money you are going to offer to business to reduce their emissions? Hell where is the money for the cost of the seedlings? And the water? Or do you intent to plant them only and not actually nurture them?

And finally, where can you get enough land from the $250 mill you got left? That might buy you one or properties, but not enough to grow 20 million trees does it?

JOE HOCKEY: We didn’t say it was going to grow to that immediately. So, that’s quite clear in the policy.

TONY JONES: I said by 2020.

JOE HOCKEY: Yeah, well, OK. Well …

TONY JONES: It would have to grow to that by 2020 because that’s …

JOE HOCKEY: Let’s see – the costs vary. I mean, if you look at the costs in the Government’s own budget, they vary from day to day. Our costs are enduring, but obviously we update the costs as we approach the election. Everyone’ll see the full details of our policies.

TONY JONES: But are you discussing this with Tony Abbott? I mean, a 15,000-strong green army is quite a big thing to be talking about, particularly if it does end up blowing out to, you know, $750 million a year.

JOE HOCKEY: We are going through every line item of the budget at the moment.

TONY JONES: Have you been through that one?

JOE HOCKEY: We’re spending days and days going through every line item of budget.

TONY JONES: That’s quite a big line item by 2020: $750 million a year.

JOE HOCKEY: We can keep going on about it. We can keep going on about it, Tony, but we are going through every line item in the budget and we’re being fair dinkum about it and our numbers stack up.

TONY JONES: And you’ve had a chat with Tony Abbott about it?

JOE HOCKEY: I talk to Tony on a regular basis about a range of things.

TONY JONES: About the army?

JOE HOCKEY: Ah, well, I think the Army’s doing a great job in Afghanistan and I think …

TONY JONES: I’m talking about the green army, which doesn’t exist at this point.

JOE HOCKEY: Oh, the green army. Well, the green army is – you know, we went to the last election with a firm policy; we’re committed to it.

TONY JONES: But you don’t know how big it’ll be?

JOE HOCKEY: No, no, we’ve outlined it in the policy. The numbers are there.

TONY JONES: But you don’t know right now?

JOE HOCKEY: We’re going in a big circle here.

TONY JONES: OK. Alright. The other aspect of this is that the direct action plan is aiming to get 15 million tonnes of carbon abatement from new tree plantations. The forestry industry says that’ll require planting trees on 600,000 hectares of cleared agricultural land. Have you cleared that with the National Party?

JOE HOCKEY: No, we’ve said it’s not necessarily cleared agricultural land.

TONY JONES: What sort of land will it be?

JOE HOCKEY: It can be – well, it can be …

TONY JONES: That’s what the forest industry has said.

JOE HOCKEY: Yeah, it can be less quality land than good agricultural land. I mean, you can buy, you know, hundreds of thousands of acres west of Moree and I wouldn’t describe that as prime agricultural land. But there is a capacity to do it.

TONY JONES: So that’s where the green army will be planting the 20 million trees?

JOE HOCKEY: Well, the green army will be part of that process.

Joe.. Joe… Joe….

West of Moree? Mate you are going to need not only all the land West of Moree, but all of it East of Perth too! And you know Tony has already made his point. That stupid Afghanistan gag is low.

TONY JONES: Evidently the policy also contemplates getting 15 billion tonnes of carbon abatement by paying brown coal-fired power generator – or at least one, to close down. What would that cost to the budget?

JOE HOCKEY: Well, you can ask the Gillard Government the same question.

Joe you oaf! You said your policy was fully costed. That means you would know the cost to convert the plant. In fact you keep insisting throughout the above that the coalition costings have all been fully costed and submitted, but when prompted to talk about some of these costs, you do not know the figures.

You see you DO know what it cost to convert LaTrobe to gas. It would be too much. Since the plant itself supplies 20% of Victoria’s supply, and since you need to shut down the plant to work on it, you will then need to create a temporary plant to take over the load that LaTrobe does before you can switch it off. And it will be MUCH cheaper to bring down the LaTrobe plant totally and rebuild it from scratch specifically for gas. And then you got to take in the cost of delivering gas to the plant etc etc.

The truth of it all Joe is some plants will need to be shut down, but new ones will be built to take their load. And it is smarter to build them where gas is supplied cheaper then to add a cost to pipe it to LaTrobe.

How can you not know this data Joe? How can you know this and STILL make claims about guarantees. That is unless your policy is not and has never been fully costed which means you and Andrew Robb and now Tony Abbott are making false claims. And by your own judgement on people who ‘falsify data’, you should be sacked.

Australia is expecting your resignations by the end of the day. I provide a link to help you do so.

(Full Late Line link )

A. Ghebranious 2011 (All Rights Reserved)

One Comment
  1. Jennifer Baratta permalink

    Great so applying to his job would be interesing if I lived in your part of world.

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