Skip to content

Oh Well. There goes one Conspiracy. Or has it?

07/05/2011

So a few days ago the President of the United States of America breaks into TV’s around the globe and confirms the rumour that had been spreading on the twitterverse. They had found and killed Osama Bin Laden.

The confirmation was greeted with greet joy by Americans. We were later briefed that Osama was ‘hiding behind a woman’, believed to be his wife and she too was dead.

This was later greeted with the news that not only was Osama found and killed, but buried as well. That was quick many thought. Too quick.

As conspiracies were been born (or in some cases reborn) over if the US had or had not actually found Osama Bin Laden, Pakistani conspiracy theories began to circulate. Why did the Pakistani’s not know where he was the US accused. The same US that also did not know where he was.

In the midst of declining foreign relations and increasing foreign accusations, the White House rewrite the history of events.

Turns out they did not kill the wife. Just shot her in the leg. And no. Osama was not armed as was implied in the first brief. They tell us that the wife  was the one that rushed the gunman and he shot her in the leg. We are then told that Osama moved, and from the events described it seems likely it would be to his wife who had just been shot and as he moved he too was shot.

That is probably what happened.

Almost immediately post this seemingly change of events, the deathers began. Suddenly doubt needed a gruesome picture to placate it.

Meanwhile, in another part of loony tune town, Alex Jones interviews a guy who claims Osama has been dead since 2001 and has been frozen and waiting for a time for Bush to ‘roll him out’ for the election. He then claimed that because he found this out and released it in 2001, Bush got nervous and they kept him on ice. Now Barack is in trouble, he elected to roll him out.

Then came the information that photos will not be released and you would just have to take their word for it….

The conspiracy pot that had been bubbling since the first hint of  misinformation began to go on overdrive.

  • Osama is not dead but captured.
  • Osama has been dead since 2001 and frozen
  • The US are lying and setup the whole thing
  • The US are lying about some things
  • Aliens came down from the sky and gave the SEALs a Chiclet in exchange for the body of Osama Bin laden.
  • yada yada yada

Oddly, in the moment when Pakistan/US relations are on the edge and the theory that Oswald was hiding in a grassy knoll with Elvis as the  SEALs landed was just getting off the ground, Al Qaeda decided to  give credence to the original claim made by the USA.

Al Qaeda confirms bin Laden’s death

Al Qaeda has confirmed the death of Osama bin Laden in a statement posted on jihadist Internet forums on Friday, the US monitoring group SITE Intelligence reported.

So there. He is dead. No it wasn’t in 2001. Yes, it was in that compound. Of course they also sent the obligatory threat. It seems the majority of  conspiracy stories have just lost a leg

In a way, Al Qaeda has solved a dilemma for the USA. Now they don’t need to show proof he was dead. Of course this creates a whole brand new conspiracy theory.

How convenient for the USA for Al Qaeda to make that confirmation. <insert conspiracy music here>

A. Ghebranious 2011  (All Rights Reserved)

About these ads

From → Comedy, Media, Politics, Weird

One Comment
  1. Jennifer Baratta permalink

    WellI feel better not!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 3,768 other followers

%d bloggers like this: