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Dashing through the snow


It’s the last week in politics. You can smell it. The sense of I could not be bothered to be here is palatable in our politicians. The idea now is to leave the perception that the people we put into the big house are actually working for their money. I can’t find a picture of Nicola Roxon in her tinsel inspired dress today. So, lets talk about snow.


It’s been an interesting year for the ALP. The year started with the likelihood of double dissolution election that then culminated in an election of the double disillusioned. The people were given a choice of brand A and Brand B and proceeded to choose brand C and brand D instead.

Julia Gillard made promises she could not keep when the counting was done and dusted, whereas Tony Abbott made promises he had never even considered following through with because he never expected to get that close. It was this that was his undoing. Improper costings, flimsy NBN plans and the mantra of ‘Stop The Boats’ cost him an election, but I hear the last one earned him a nomination from the Klu Klux Klan who thought it simply a ‘grandmaster’ stroke. Then they discovered that the Liberal Party actually get a lot of funding from Jewish interest groups and promptly withdrew the nomination.

Bob Brown had the best year yet! His party walked away the big financial winner earning more money than the Liberal National Party of Queensland. Not bad. The Greens of course still struggle with the idea of running a lower house campaign. Despite collecting over 10% of the national vote, they were only able to get one seat in the house where as the LNPQ managed 21 seats. Of course it was all about the crucial preference voting that got the latter across the line. Still, I think the Greens spent around maybe 200k in the entire campaign (okay maybe a tad more) and walked away with $7.o86m, almost 5 million more than the National Party of Australia (who managed to score 7 seats in the lower house). They did not need to spend money on ads. The major parties were doing it for them.

For Bob, it was a big cuddly Christmas gift.

Mind you the writing is on the wall for the Greens. It is clear that both major parties are not happy Jan. It’s why the liberal party coffers are not where they should be. Which the ALP think hilarious BTW, but at the same time you can see that both parties are planing to spoil Bob’s retirement party with whats happening in Victoria.

The L-NP are running the story that the ALP is in an unholy alliance with the Greens now which is hilarious as they have seeked Green support vigorously over several bills so far. The snow job continues. On one hand they attempt to point at the alliance and talk about how dirty it is and on the other, behind closed doors, they hop in bed with the Greens in the senate to oppose or push through their own bills. It gets funnier as the ALP while in an alliance of sorts, starts to really push the alliance to the limit. Why? Well they are pretty sure the independents do not want to to go to the polls again which the L-NP will do if given a chance. The L-NP do not want to win by the way. They just want to shit on the Greens and independents. Which of course would be just fine for the ALP but they will never say it out loud.

The snow this year is at record highs.

The other little snow game is banks. Joe Hockey claims he has a plan. Problem for Joe is it looks exactly like a plan that was released in an open letter 18 months ago. Joe has since rectified his statements saying he has been talking this plan since last year. Peter Martin wrote about it in his blog.

Joe seemed to lift a lot of what the economists said in that open letter (second link) and claimed it as HIS plan. No Joe. You stole it. If you submitted it as an assignment in university, you would have failed for plagiarism. Lucky for you you are in politics and do not have to talk the truth. But don’t worry Joe. I expect Wayne Swan to lift as much as you did and call it his.

What’s even funnier is Joe and Wayne are calling for change in the banking system assuming this will not create a problem if competition is opened up, but there is the problem. See any change that is done without examining the entire system will actually create problems. That will sail right past most of the public too.

And with that seg-way, lets move right on to asylum seekers. This would be what I call a comical opera if it was not so tragic. Both parties are using the asylum seekers in this game. And there is blood on both hands. Scott Morrison seemed to be smiling whenever an asylum seeker committed suicide. Chris Bowen on the other hand is new to this portfolio and he is trying to get his head around it when it suddenly exploded in front of him in regards to the High Court decision.  Tragic comedy is funny until it happens to you I guess. Since the High Court decision, Scott Morrison’s smile has faded. But also since the decision Chris Bowen has started to laugh until he realised he has to clean it all up.

Which brings me to the NBN.

We see a lot of snow on both sides of the mount on this one. Here is the joke. The structural separation of TELSTRA is something the L-NP wanted to do for about a decade but never could. But here is the tragedy. If they vote for it, they will be seen as backing the NBN plan which they want, but do not want to be seen as doing so.

The ALP would LOVE to get the information out there, but they can’t because their contribution of the $43bn dollar project is actually $26bn. This means there are other private parties involved here that do not want this data released as contracts are still being drafted and do not want anyone to have knowledge that will affect those.

Malcolm Turnbull made investments in preparations for the NBN. The L-NP are trying to make the claim that Malcolm is demonstrating that despite this interest, he is voting against the NBN. Oh please. This is the guy who makes money based an wise investments, not stupid ones. Some will say he is hedging his bets in case the NBN get through, but then why did he not pick up 10million TELSTRA shares in case the NBN did not get through. More snow. More confidentiality agreements.

I heard Senator Nick Xenophon saying that he could not possibly sign an agreement that would legally bind him. This is because once Senator Nick does see it, and when his stint in parliament is over, he wants to use that knowledge to get him a job. If he signed an agreement, then he could not do this. Mind you Xenophon is not likely to lose his seat for a few years so it’s really a lovely play for show. His last comment on how if he signed a 2 week order, then how will he be able to vote on something that gets released after the vote?

Let me go through that slowly for you. If he signs a confidentiality agreement today and sees the information, then how will he be able to vote on the bill when the information is not released till 2 weeks after the vote. Oh Mr Xenophon. Where did you get you new snow blower from? And what ever you do, don’t turn it on outside Joe Hockey’s window when he is doing a phone interview!

Mind you the 7 year to 3 year to 2 week contract pretty much tells me the ALP has 3 types of briefings. One is complete, one is partial, and one is briefer than Tony Abbott’s speedos

I notice that Senator Steve Fielding did sign the 2 week gag and did get a briefing this morning. I also noticed that no one is talking to him from the press. (addendum: Apparently it is Steve that is not wanting to talk to the media. I think he is leaving all the media whoring to Nick)

And with that, I wish you all A MERRY XMAS!

A. Ghebranious        2010                All Rights Reserved

One Comment
  1. debbiep permalink

    If I ever needed a good laugh, mixed with some commonsense,topped with the first of a little xmas cheer, you just gave it to me .

    Ha 🙂

    Merry ‘political Shenanigans’ Xmas . And be thankful we don’t see Santa in speedo’s ( or budgie smugglers )

    I found your blog through The Political sword (thanking you lyn 🙂

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