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Kristina Keneally Konspiracy

19/11/2010

Mrs Keneally claims that she did not see this coming!

The date? November the 19th, 2010. The scene? Sydney’s Governor Macquarie Tower. An ordinary NSW female premier is riding on her way to work.  The temperature was a cool 21 degrees according to a link on http://www.sydneycyclist.com/ . Mrs Keneally had made this trip before. But today, something would happen that would send a shiver inside the hearts of bike riders everywhere!

The magpie watch map is clear: no reported sightings of them in the area. This clearly tells us that this was not a result of a magpie attack. The victim confirms this and police are currently doing forensic testing on bird shit collected in the area to confirm.

Mrs Keneally was interviewed in regards to this event. Her comment? Let us say there is room for speculation here.

“Just coming in the car park the handlebar separated from the bike,” an embarrassed Premier said of this morning’s accident at Sydney’s Governor Macquarie Tower.

“There was no other vehicle involved. It wasn’t going at any particular speed. I have a bruised knee – I’m fine.

“The bike, on the other hand, I don’t think will survive.”

SOURCE: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/nation/nsw-premier-kristina-keneally-wont-stop-cycling-after-riding-mishap/story-e6frg6nf-1225956463745

The handle just “separated” from the bicycle. Really Mrs Keneally? And the bike has been put down? Do not say it is so!

Mrs Keneally is trying to play down the matter. When queried that this was a deliberate attack by agent or agents unknown, she dismissed it.

“First of all, the bike itself had a malfunction,” she said.

“Secondly, what we see every day is people choosing to get on their bike and ride to work. It’s good for their health, it’s good for the environment … it’s good for traffic congestion.

“You know what, I’ll be back on my bike shortly, just on a different one.”

Really Mrs Keaneally. You do not need to play coy with me. You accident was not due to a malfunction! This is a malfunction! (Warning! This next video has near mild nudity)

No Mrs Keneally. This is a conspiracy. It has to be. God knows we need one.

The Magic Bullet – Seinfield

I find it hard to believe that the handlebars simply ‘separate’ from the rest of the bike. I find it easier to believe that there may have been a second magpie in the grassy knoll! Or worse, this was not a matter of birds at all!

Mrs Keneally has no idea who she has angered but I think I know. These people are ruthless! They have bikes! And they are naked. If you thought an environmentalist can get annoying. How about 1000 naked environmentalists on bikes!

Of course Australia has struggled with semi nudity and pushbikes before.

Ah! My kingdom for the days when women wore short shorts!

A. Ghebranious     2010                  All Rights Reserved

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One Comment
  1. a ha permalink

    About the bike malfunction. I myself would prefer to see a conspiracy unfold here, I actually find it difficult to accept that several considerably more dastardly ones have not yet come to light. However, I must let it be known, this very same malfunction has happened to me. I have a GT Aggressor (nice huh!) and a couple of years ago, after a bout of sustained cycling over about 3 months, the handlebars did separate from the bike.
    I was most disturbed and not a little pissed off.
    Mostly due to the fact that my delusional love for GT was brutally rent asunder.
    I had a GT All Terra, back in “the day”, and man could that baby run.
    The sad truth is that a once super smooth and genuinely tough bike has been cheapened and weakened, and I am not about to posit any ahem “Chinese manufacturing” ahem reasons why, in concern of being labelled racist insane.
    BTW, am I the only one thinking Keneally is rather spooky?

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