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Does God have a penis?

29/09/2010

Michelanglo decided that the question would be too hard for many

Does God have a penis? If so is he well hung? Or just anatomically correct?

Bible, King James. Genesis, from The holy Bible, King James version
26: And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created  him; male and female he created them.

 

Hmm.  So wait a minute. Does this mean God is hermaphrodite? Or are we not meant to:

 

‘take it literally, it refers to all manufacturers of diary products’ – Life Of Brian (Blessed are the cheesemakers)
Of course we have a fundamental divide here. Especially amongst fundamentalists who insist that every word in the Bible is meant to be taken literally and that the history of mankind is only 10,000 years old and God created the earth in literally 6 days.

But there are also some who do believe that the Bible is not to be taken as literal as that. At least parts of it.

There is more complexity in this issue as Genesis is a shared text. It is key to not only the Jewish faith but also Christian and Islamic  faiths. Of course somewhere along the line each of these newer faiths split away from the root of Judaism. I’m reminded of the tale of Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift and one particular section of that book in regards to egg breaking. It seemed that whole nations went to war because of the different ways they preferred to crack a boiled egg at breakfast time. You may be wondering how I can equate egg breaking to different religions until you discover that Mr Swift was not only an author, but a clergyman.

I won’t get into the who did what to whom when aspect of this egg breaking and prefer to keep the article to the original egg, untouched and unbroken as described in Genesis.

So if God does not have a penis, does not have a vagina and is not a hermaphrodite, then maybe, just maybe, this text refers to something deeper than the container we exist in here. Maybe what is meant is God made us in his spiritual image. That he gave us this spark that distinguished us from other animals and creatures on Earth so we can rise and dominate them and serve them up for dinner in expensive exclusive restaurants.

I can see why this is a dangerous thought for many fundamentalists. You see it would mean that the ‘God’ is not only love, he is also hate. He is not only peaceful, he is a warmonger. That he is not only benign, but also malign because we are all of these.

We, his creations in his own image, have a history of good and evil; mind you one has to also explore what is ‘good’ and what is ‘evil’ and that will probably require a blog or a book all on its own!

We tend to try to say the Pol Pots and the Stalins and the Hitlers of the world are aberrations and we should instead concentrate on the Ghandis and the Mother Teresas and the Mandelas instead.

I argue no, we should not distinguish or forget. We should not even try to label the lives of these people as at the end of the day, guess what? They were/are people. They were all made in the image of ‘God’. They all put food into one orifice and expelled waste from another. They were/are human.

Humans are an interesting animal. We are equally good at thinking things through as we are at not thinking things through. I find it not odd that when the police somewhere in the world catch a serial killer or a murderer, the persons neighbours are heard on interveiws saying that the person seemed  ordinary.

That is because they are. We prefer to think them as not part of  ‘us’. The true horror is that is not the case. When we see stories on our media about drug users or alcoholics or thieves, or murderers, we are seeing ‘us’ just as much as when we see peace makers and  charity workers.

For like us, they were also created in the image of God. Frightening huh? And the grace of God has nothing to do between you and them at all.

That is why I prefer to think that God has a penis. But then that poses a bigger question!

Would God use small, normal, large or extra large condoms? The mind boggles!

 

A. Ghebranious     2010         All Rights Reserved

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One Comment
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