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April 21/2017 – Ashraf’s Friday Rant!!


Ashraf’s Friday Rant


Okay.  Warning here. I had the telly on with the sound down during this to catch the aftermath of the US bombing of the airport so this wasnt the most focused of podcasts. But I ranted. So feel free to listen.

 

Episode 4 – Ashraf’s rant


All kinds of topics from the history of filibustering, to racial discrimination laws, to tax cuts, to child care, to Trump and being trumped

Episode 3 – (Its like the star wars movies)!!


You can catch my podcast on magic, sleight of hand, illusion and politics here

 

Eposide Two – Ashraf’s Friday Rants


Ashie’s Friday Rants


So I got a weekly podcast now. You can catch episode one here. And yes. That picture is very scary.

 

I got you babe – (by whats left of your balls)



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Groundhog day is supposed to be a movie, not a government. You may have been told that there is a great difference between a Abbott govt and its replacement Turnbull govt, but in reality, the same tune booms out of your alarm clock radios every morning.
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When Tony held the reigns of the government, unions where the bane of the countries existence. They where the Balrog, and Tony led his misfit band of mostly political hobbits(who dined on multiple breakfasts, lunches and dinners on the taxpayers purse) through the darkened corridors of the Coalition.
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Unfortunately for Tony, the Balrog turned out to not be the unions, but a cabal of his own mostly political hobbits who kicked him off a bridge, and then ran like fools.
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The new Gandalf, Malcolm, promised change with continuity. And boy did he deliver in droves! The new bane of the countries existence is now the unions! And he leads an even bigger collection of political hobbits, who continue to raid the taxpayers purse, through the darkened corridors of the Coalition.
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The new Gandalf had made deals with the Balrog that had helped him oust the old Gandalf. In return for him being given the key to the lodge, he needed to cut off his balls and hand it to them on a plate. This is coincidently why the coalition do not like to elect female leaders as they have no balls to put on a plate.
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The new Gandalf not only promised his genitals to some of his political hobbits, he had also promised shavings of the same balls to many others: banks, big business, Rupert Murdoch, his deputy, his wife, his ‘friends’ from the mineral council and so on.
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So poor Mal has no balls left. But thankfully, this has allowed him to take seven shots from a Adler lever action shotgun to the genitals without leaving a stain. The old Gandalf, Tony, had thought he had Mal by they proverbial Godwin Grech’s when he unloaded. Tony fired his weapon through the media, social and non social. He did not care about the gunpowder stains that covered his hands. He just wanted his beard and staff back.
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Tony had never been able to get his head around things like computers, the internet, or anything that required facts. After all, Tony is no tech head.
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So it must have been a great shock to him when emails, or as Tony likes to call them, electronic post, turned up to show he was a lying bastard. Maybe he was aware of these electronic letters, but did not care. After all, he had been proven to be a lying bastard before, and this had helped him get elected.
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Tony said Mal had made a deal. Tony had vowed he made no deals. But Mal had said it was Tony who made a deal. Then Mal himself vowed he would make no deals.
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At one time, Mal had claimed to be a advocate of a faster, better internet; same sex marriage; renewable energy; indigenous recognition; even a republic. But now that he is the new Gandalf, he has put all these in a hessian bag and thrown them out to sea along with his principles. It turns out that the new Gandalf of the coalition is exactly like the old Gandalf of the coalition – a lying bastard.
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And Australia is living in a remake of “Groundhog Day” produced, directed and starring the Coalition. Only the song that plays every morning is not from Sonny and Cher. Ironically, the cast still got you babe. Got you by the balls.
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Ashraf Ghebranious                                                             October 2016
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